I'm grateful... really...

I am sick and grumpy. I want a car so I can drive to pick up sick supplies for myself like Sucrets, Buckley's and bottled soup. Hell, I want to be able to afford a car (for many reasons). I hate thinking that I am being looked down on for not having a financially sound 'career'. I'm doing the best I can - why does it have to be judged? Who are we to judge others? I know, I know.... I'm not perfect in this place either, but I'm working on it!

I hate the feeling of being alone in this sick place. I hate the feeling that no one is here to take care of me. I wish they could have taken better care back then, maybe if they had, this wouldn't feel so damn isolating. Chalk it up on my 'feeling disappointed' list. So - here I go - instead of whining and playing the victim card, I'm going to attempt gratitude....

I am grateful for:

- my apartment
- my therapist
- warm summer weather
- my ability to love, regardless of my fears
- my dog
- my pharmacy with it's amazing assortment of natural products/supplements
- my television (Like I said, I'm sick, and don't know what I would have done without it)
- the internet and my computer
- a couple of dear friends who deal with their own fears and accept me for who I am, regardless of how I am  doing.
- my desire to grow into who I really am, regardless of who 'other people' want me to be
- my success and progress in exploring the concept of compassion, for myself and others
- how hard this process is and my ability to stay true to it
- my thermos bottle that keeps my water icy cold for hours and hours!
- food and grocery stores. Have you ever really looked at the produce section in your grocery store? Try it! It's pretty mind blowing.
- the support network I have created for myself
- my ability to be able to call myself on 'my shit' and realize that I'm not perfect
- my ability to heal/help others, sense the invisible, and trust my knowing in this place. (I'm not talking shiatsu)
- the universe reminding me of this yesterday and leading me to that place
- my beau who ditched yoga to bring me soup and medicine!
- my extended family
- gardening and flowers

I love cone-flowers!

and on that note....