Depression is usually accompanied by feelings of helplessness (for all of the people involved, directly or indirectly). I have been asked, on several occasions, what my loved ones 'can do', to help me. I never know what to say, usually because I'm in the middle of a struggle, which means, clarity and I aren't the best of friends. What I do know, is that having to hold another persons discomfort around my depression, while I am feeling depressed, is too much! I know I am a super human, I'm just not super-human... Ha! Just sayin'.
All I ever need - perhaps all a Depressed person ever needs - while battling through a hard time, is some form of validation of my/their feelings. (I can only speak for myself though, this may not work for everyone....) I'm certainly not trying to put words in your mouth, but for the people that have asked in the past, these are some things that I know I want/need to hear.
"I am sorry you are hurting so badly. I am sorry this feels so difficult for you. I am sorry this is so hard, but I am here for you. I hear you, I may not understand, but you are not alone."
"This isn't easy. I see you trying, so hard, to stay afloat."
"I will not judge you for this because I care about you. This scares me, but it probably doesn't come close to how scared you are."
"You can do this. I see how hard you are working. I wish I could make it all go away - but I can't. Instead, I will stay by your side, support you, hold you, love you, so you know...."
"I am here. I will continue to be here, without judgment, because you are important to me."
"I am here."
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