What I want most in my life, what I crave more than a salty bag of chips with dip (on a 'bad' day), is to attain what I have seen in my dear cousin, and now my friend. Like me, these two beautiful women are recently separated/ divorced, but they embody something I haven't yet been able to access. It is magical and I want to, more than anything, be able to step into their shoes for even a day to experience it.
Drum roll please.... I want to be Bright and Shiny. Maybe a feeling similar to this?
That's it, that's all. I want to be bright and shiny. I want it to come pouring out of me as it does them. I want to feel the warmth of it, I want to be able to breathe it in, I want to feel it rolling off my skin, I want it to radiate out of my pours and eyes for all people to witness (and therefore benefit from, like I recently have had the pleasure of doing). It is beautiful and it is powerful and I want it!!
It is calm, it is peace, it is contentment, and most importantly - it is power - personal power.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't envious of them. How the hell did they find it? I've been in therapy for years, sorting through my 'stuff', and it feels like I'm still a far way off from achieving what they have. How did they, after about a year, manage to find it, hold onto it and embody it? I'm clearly doing something wrong here because I seem to be stuck in the 'Dark and Twisty' realm.
Grrrrrr. Oh look! Here I am!
As someone who has known u for a long time I have to say that I've always thought of you as bright and shiny. You are your own light. I know ur struggling, but keep up the fight! I also always thought of u as fairly feisty, so I believe u will work your way through this! Xoxo
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